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Being open is different from spoon feeding. There are times when we should allow others to realize on their own what they have done or said.

Calm down, calm down. It’s not his fault. It isn’t.

Oh well. I’ll let this one go. I know there are more to come. But I’ll think of ways to just forget about these things. So for now, I’ll just enjoy the night with my dearest sisters in Christ. Febfair 2012, here we come!

Oh Lord, help me get rid of this terrible feeling. I know this is wrong. Sorry.

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Last Friday, someone asked me what love is for me. SInce everybody has mentioned the typical meanings of love, I just answered this one deep thing: love is a decision. Everyone reacted (in a positive way).

Now thinking of what I said, I can say that it really is a decision. It’s almost three years now since we started our journey together in love. Almost everyone knows our story–how we started as friends, turned out as the best of friends, fell in love without us knowing it, and sharing this one boat of ours in the river called love. Poetic huh? It’s not my intention of creating a valentine post or whatsoever. I just feel like writing right now. And so, okay. Here we go.

I am grateful that I came to know this person, that through thick and thin, though he’s thick and I’m thin, (peace there yo! I love you. ) we have overcome and we made it this far. I know three years isn’t worth comparing to a lifetime of being together but I can also say that our three years of being together isn’t worth comparing to anything either. I really treasure those three years that even if we had to undergo very difficult times in each aspect of our lives, individually or as a couple, we ended up being together. I’m thankful to God that despite the times we fell, He showed us that He is not interested in our failures and mistakes, He is interested on how we are going to make things right. I’m so much thankful to God that despite the hurts and the mistakes we made to each other, God healed our hearts and brought us to forgive each other and ourselves. I am so much thankful  to this person that even if I’m so spoiled, he embraced this spoiled little brat and made me realize that I can be better. I am thanking this person because even if it’s so hard to be with me, he decided to stick with me. And in the same way, despite the difficulties we encountered and the problems we are still experiencing right now, I am decided to stick with him. I know that if we just seek God first above all things, if we fear God, if we obey His commands, then everything will go well with us. Everything isn’t smooth yet, the boat is still rocking, but I know that God is in control. However, it’s time to get out of the boat and start walking in water. God didn’t promise us a problem-free life, but He did promise us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. I know that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

And my prayer is this, that both of us will grow deeper in love with God. That both of us will come to love God more and more to such a point that we’ll desire nothing else but to be with God. I know when that day comes, God will start to pour out His favor to us and to our territories. I know and I’m so positive about it, that God will one day say that it’s time, enter the next season of your lives together. I am excited, super! But being excited doesn’t mean that I can’t wait. I’d love to wait for that day. I’d wait for that day that God has prepared for us. I won’t hurry. We won’t hurry. Love is waiting. It is waiting, but something can’t be delayed: the salvation of those lost and hungry souls. We are waiting for our next step in love but this doesn’t mean that we will just sit and wait and won’t be productive. No! And so, this is our motto for the mean time while still on the wait: end times.  –need I say more?

Okay, 080911: I had to report to Makati to discuss the job offer. I had my lab tests during the morning. Then I gave Scribbles a bath. Then prepared and went to Makati. After the discussion, I waited for Yuki and we went home. I’m not sure if we went to MOA. Oh there! Yeah, we did. Then we looked for a hotel to stay in during the Halfway House Retreat of the company. We went to Park Bed and Breakfast and had our reservations there. Then we went home.

081011 to 081311: Halfway House Retreat. It some sort of an encounter retreat but it is different from the EGR that we have in our church. Anyway, the highlights… we got lost! Not really “lost” but we went to Cuneta Astrodome instead of Cuneta Avenue! My goodness! Hahaha! Other highlight of our stay there? Nasaulo ko na ang EDSA and Pasay Road. Haha! Yuki and I went to MOA, Baclaran, MOA, PBB, PPH, Evangelista… more of Evangelista. And oh, have I mentioned MOA?

081411: Okay. Namiss ko ng sobra ang church and ang culture ng own church, syempre. Unfortunately na-lock ako sa bahay! Then the moment I was “freed”, the preaching of the Word was already over. I cried because of this. I was very upset, really. I asked Kuya Cris to pray for me. I really wanted to hear and listen to God’s word. I learned that I ahould have a duplicate of the keys in our house, and that no one of us should leave the house and bring the keys with them when they know that someone is still inside. It was really a sad morning actually. But the afternoon was fine. God turned my mourning (sad morning) into dancing. God is really good.

081511: I reported to AHI. They welcomed us, the new employees. My boss is so gorgeous! Define gorgeous! Anyway, i read policies, policies, policies. Filled up forms, forms and even more forms. Then Yuki and I went to Landmark to buy corporate clothes, however, there was injustice in the prices. Yes they are cheap, and they do look cheap. We were looking for clothes that are cheap yet looks presentable. And so there, I wasn’t able to buy what I needed. The fun part of the night is that we had dinner with Joel, Ate Jopa and Mom Enya at Shakey’s. Oh yeah, I wouldn’t forget the earthquake. I’m not sure if that’s really an earthquake but we experienced that four to five times at Landmark.

081611 to 081711: REQUIREMENTS GALORE. My goodness! Getting an NBI clearance is like getting a passport. I wasn’t able to get a clearance last Tuesday because there was a cut off in Sta. Rosa. Okay, so Dad and I decided that we’ll get the other requirements first. Getting an SSS number was surprisingly fast. I finished everything in just ten minutes. I also finished my drug test that Tuesday. Wednesday, again we went to Sta. Rosa. Even if we were early, there was already a long queue. The cut-off was already given and I felt hopeless. But God used the life of the man there and told me about NBI Manila. So Dad and I went to Taft. My goodness, if the line in Sta. Rosa was cut off at 465, in Taft it was cut off at 2000 plus. This was an extremely long queue. Nadaig pa passport! Now I was really discouraged. But I have faithful God. He used the life of this tricycle driver and told us about Robinsons Otis. No one seemed to listen to him but us. So he told us the direction and Dad and I immediately went there. Yes! It was for real! Dad left me there and I finished after four hours. It was really a blessing from God, a favor! God didn’t want me to wait for a month to get my clearance form, in Otis, I immediately got my NBI clearance form after the whole process. To compare that with a whole day of falling in line and a month of waiting for the release? Nothing beats the plan of God for us. Praise and glory be unto God alone. After that, I took the LRT for the very fisrt time. After a little travel, I went to Buendia and took the bus there going to Laguna. I went straight to Healthserv and finished my physical exam. I have to take my medication, they said I eat too much salty foods and drink colored drinks. But I guess it was because before the day of my urinalysis, AJ and I ate tons of sour cream fries. My bad. Sorry.

081811: This should be an exciting day, my first official day of work. Yes, I made new friends, the Sales team were nice people and I can see that they are fun to be with. Despite all the good things that happened in the morning, I’d still say that I really don’t want this day. This day, 18th of August 2011, our dearest Tatay Lito went  home to our Father in heaven. When I was at the office, I received a text message from Mom. At first I thought it was just a bulletin message about a meeting since it was a Thursday. But as I read through the message, I realized that it was something else. I read it more than five times. I got the message, it was just that I’m in the stage of denial during that time. I don’t want to believe that my Tatay Lito has already passed away. I had a hard time composing myself during that moment. I managed not to cry. On my way home, at the bus I asked God, “LORD what are you telling us about this?” Then God impressed to me the message of the verse John 12:24. It says, “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” It really hurts to know that someone you love so much and treat as your second father has already died. But God isn’t finished yet, God is working in the TPLB church. This seed will bear much fruit. I know and I can see how much Tatay Lito’s life made impact in the lives of the people around him. I know in God’s time, everything will bloom for the glory of God. When I arrived at Caltex, Dad and Kuya Jonathan fetched me there and we went straight to the wake. The moment I got there, tears started to flow. I’m really going to miss my Tatay Lito. I love you so much Tatay.

We are still in mourning but God is good, I know that He will turn our mourning into dancing.

081911: Second day. I arrived ten minutes past seven in the morning. I wentstraightto the worship hall. Delikado pala maaga dun, nahihigit nila. Kidding. They asked me to sing because they are lacking of workers there. I felt burdened. I want the worship there to improve. In want to give God a better form of worship. Until my travel back to Los Banos, I was still thinking about that. LORD, help me. I was thinking, how can my light as a Christian in my workplace shine for others to be lit more and more also. As I said, may our LORD God help me.

082011: Saturday. Thank You, LORD! Birthday ngayon ng anak ni Ma’am GKV. She invited me but I weighed my intentions. It is a sort of need to go there because I will be able to meet my boss’ family. But I looked deeper into my heart and found myself wanting to go there because it would be a cool party, you know how much I love children’s parties! Plus the fact that the details are… er… bongga? The theme is about cars and so all the more that I wanted to come. But I looked at the situation and figured out that I am in the “want” more that than in the “need” area. I was at the Halfway House Retreat last week and so I need to  give priority to the ministry that God has entrusted to me, the cell meeting and the worship team practice. God is the One who gave me my job and so I shouldn’t let this job get in the way in my relationship with God. And in my decision, I have peace. Thank You, LORD.

There, all done! Thank You, God, for letting me remember all those details. Okay, time to give Scribbles a bath again. A blessed day, everyone!

• Went to the registrar to get my diploma (finally I had the time to go there, or ngayon lang sinipag? ). The Holy Spirit really accompanied me, they said that i must present my clearance form however, i left it at home. but they were too kind to accommodate me. Thanks be to God! Ang bait nun sa windows six and ten! Haha!
• Went to the cashier and then went back again to the registrar to file the request for TOR. Omy! One month pala yun?!
• Went to Vega to buy frappes at Black & Brew.
• Went home to apply for an NSO authentic birth certificate. While we were at home, the HR called and told me that I need to report tomorrow to discuss the job offer and the retreat I need to attend. The retreat will be on Wednesday to Saturday this week! Good thing is that Yuki and I are going together to that same retreat! We just realized that our work situation is so ideal. This is indeed a favor from God! And also, they are giving me three extra days next week to finish my requirements. Grabe ang amazing talaga ni God!
• Went to Metrobank and paid the NSO Helpline so that they can start processing my request.
• Went to the municipal hall to get the cedula. Okay din yung andun sa cashier, accommodating na rin.Hehe.
• Went to NBI Los Banos only to find out that the only functioning branch in Laguna is the Sta. Rosa branch; and that it takes one month for the release. Oh wow. Valid ID and 2×2 pic daw ang requirements. Okay, i’ll keep that in mind!
• Nagpa-gas! Yamings si AJ! Hahaha!
• Went to HealthServ and had my x-ray and CBC there. I need to go back tomorrow morning for the urinalysis and fecalysis and the physical exam.
• Went to Potato corner and 7eleven. We bought two gigafries and one big uhaw Gatorade. Hahaha! Then we went to freedom park and we ate there. We saw Nini and Tito Caloy there, it’s so nice to see them! Nakakamiss e! katext ko nga si Nini kanina, and we are planning of having a family lunch one time.
• Went to Metrohair and AJ had his hair trimmed there.
• Went to CSI and fetched Abram.
• Finally went home, had merienda, fed Scribbles and relaxed. And while relaxing I’m making this post.

Grabe no? Ang productive! And sa lahat ng pinuntahan ko e i know na God gave me success and joy. Kahit na ba may mga wala e okay pa rin ang lakad. Praise God talaga! All the glory be unto God alone! Thank You, Jesus! I love You, Holy Spirit! Super thank You! ^_^

Okay, next week’s target: NBI clearance, SSS, TIN. Andami pa! Di bale, I know God will help me ulit.

The Sunday service was victorious; all glory be unto God alone! I am happy that Jenefa, Kaye, Christine, Lhot, Iky, Glecy, Julie Anne and Lois were there. However I am unhappy that Rhea and Maybs were not. I pray that the day will come that we will be able to worship God all together at church. After the service, we had the cell leaders meeting. It was a healthy discussion and it ended well.

Afterwards, I went home and had my devotion to God. As I was soaking in the presence of God I prayed to God for Him to reveal Himself to me in the person of the Holy Spirit. I prayed that I want to know the Holy Spirit more, who He is in my life. Funny part here, however, I fell asleep. Then I woke up after thirty minutes and I decided to go back in prayer. The moment I bowed my head down, my phone vibrated once, I said to myself: text message. Then twice… tawag pala! Then I looked and saw that it was the HR. I answered it. Oh LORD! All the glory be unto You alone! I’m hired! I’m hired, but not as a junior marketing analyst. I am hired as an executive assistant! Iba talaga si LORD! Habulin mo lang si LORD at ang mga bagay sa mundong ito ang hahabol sa’yo. All the glory be unto God alone! Ang saya! Iba talaga favour ni God! The best!

Okay, I need to go now, we have the SOL1 of the batches three and four. God bless you!

This day is so tiring (physically) but fun at the same time. And because it was a busy day, I only had the chance to write my devotion in the evening before going to sleep. Okay, that’s all I have to say. Gotta go!

It is already five in the afternoon, and so I’m making this early post because we’ll be having our KKB women gathering at six and the overnight prayer meeting at ten; I’m not sure if I can go online again later.  And because our internet connection is now back (yeah baby!), I’m pretty much excited to start blogging again, that’s why. Haha!

P.S.
Kaya matagal ang reply, nagtatype ako. Hahaha!

Okay, why am I saying these things? No, it isn’t about the puppy situation yesterday. It is about our architect. You see, just a brief background, they were the people whom my parents had misunderstanding before. Regardless of whose wrong it was, my parents decided to make the move to make everything right. At first it was a very questionable thing for me and my brothers. Like, why him? Why trust him? But then again, my parents were so kind and they wanted to restore the relationship and chose him to be the architect of our house. And so being the architect, Dad entrusted to him the job of a contractor also. We thought everything was fine. And yes, there arose issues regarding our house. But I wouldn’t elaborate on that anymore cause if I do I know I’ll be sinning due to what I would say. Anyway, my parents then decided to just let him finish his job and later on we’ll look for a much much BETTER architect and much more HONEST contractor. And when I thought everything was normal and when I thought I’ve already forgiven him then we discovered something. That person whom we trusted and entrusted our house used and is now using Dad’s name in the receipts of the materials he gets from the hardware. He used Dad’s name in getting materials for our neighbor’s house too (he was also their ex-architect, yes ex-architect because he did something unpleasant there also). Good thing Dad asked our neighbor to clarify if the architect really did use his name, and Dad found out that it was true. The good thing about that is that it was clarified that Dad is also a victim of the anomalies done by that architect and not an accomplice. The neighbors were wondering who that person whose name was written in their receipt was; and if Dad had not clarified the real situation and told them the story, our neighbors will also sue him thinking that he is an accomplice of the architect. Yes, you see, our neighbor is planning to sue him. Now that everything was clear, now that we know that there are people like us who became victim of that architect, now that we know that they are really gonna sue him for what he did to their house, should I be happy? I immediately prayed to God to guard my heart and not let me feel joy for our enemy’s downfall. Now I realized that the person God was referring to in my devotion was that architect. I prayed to God for mercy for that person and I prayed to God to fill my heart with compassion. I’m scared for that person. The word that God gave me is about being broken beyond healing, destruction; and these are to those who refuse to repent and turn from their wicked ways. Now, I ask myself, have I forgiven him already? I always keep praying to God to guard my heart, my mind, and my whole being.

And there. Forgiveness is a big thing, a big deal. Whether it concerns some irritating puppies or a very crafty architect, IT WILL ALWAYS BE A BIG DEAL. And so, we really must forgive. Just what I’ve said yesterday: the more we forgive, the more our faith increases.

And so there, I had a great day, regardless of what happened. We soaked in God’s presence and had cell training afterwards. Everything was A-okay. All the glory and praise be unto God alone! Thank You God for your presence in my life! I love You, Abba!

I grabbed the towel and was ready to take a bath during a cold rainy morning. Then I reached out for my phone to check the time, I usually check the time to see how long it took me to take a bath. But then I saw Joel’s message saying that hindi kami tuloy sa lakad namin due to the typhoon. Today is Joel’s schedule for his checkup after his ten sessions of physical therapy. I was disappointed that moment but Joel was indignant! Hahaha! (Peace, Joel) Anyway, all I said was “God you have a purpose why his checkup was cancelled.”

And so, I played with Scribbles for a while then prayed again. I then received a text message from Ate Liza saying that breakfast is ready. Scribbles and I went downsatairs and had our breakfast. Scribs ate a lot! Praise God! However, Sitio, the guard dog to be (askal na tuta na ubod ng kulit, grr!) went in and ate at Scribbles’ dish! Umakyat sa ulo ang dulo ko! I grabbed Dad’s slippers and hit the puppy on the head. I wanted to hit him hard but I cannot, I still had my dog-lover heart for the little guy of course. Good thing I managed to prevent Scribbles from joining the puppy on the dish because the puppy has this attitude of biting dogs that ‘share’ with him. Grabe, napaka-kapal talaga ng asong yun! Dish na nga ni Scribs yun e. We also have this other puppy outside named Ilaya (gosh, they have such lame names, I know!) and Sitio always bite her whenever they eat. That’s why I have this grudge (Over! Grudge na! Hahaha) for this very irritating puppy. Anyway, enough of that, I wasn’t planning to write about that, hahaha! As I was about to finish my food, Joel called. He told me to stand by for his signal because there is a possibility that we will still go with the plan. And yes, we went along with the plan. And so, I had to prepare quickly. I managed to finish preparing before they arrived. And because I thought that di kami tuloy, nag-brewed coffee ako. Oh dear, I had to go to the restroom kasi nawiwiwi na’ko. Good thing we stopped over at Total in SLEX. We ate cheeseburgers (I ate beef again!) and cassava chips. We finally arrived at the Orthopedic Center two to three hours later. The result of checkup was really positive. The doctor said that Joel should continue having his therapy and wait for the results to plateau. The doctor was amazed to see that Joel is having significant improvements in his therapy. I can see Joel’s face beaming that time. The look on his face was priceless. Unlike to the expression he had during his last checkup, he was happy today. My heart was filled with joy in seeing him like that. I want him to be happy. And after the checkup, he acquired new crutches (and shoes? ) then we went to Greenbelt. Joel and I went to Timezone and played Bowling, Basketball, House of the Dead 4, Samurai sword, Stich ball eating, Throwing balls to the screen, Karaoke. As you can see, I just invented some (or most) of the names of the games there. Hahaha! I really had a blast with Joel and the family. I missed Joel so much and I’m so happy we spent the day together.

Then we met Dad Paul, Mom Enya and Ate Jopa at Banana Leaf and had dinner there. Oh how I missed the taste of Roti Chanai. I miss the Malaysia days with the Manalo family! I miss them so much! After dinner, Ate Jopa went to her meeting and we waited for her at Powerbooks. The ambience there isn’t conducive for reading. But we managed to read some books. I saw John Eldredge’s books there. We also scanned Charles Stanley’s Enter His Presence. When Ate Jopa arrived, we went home and I slept during the travel.

When I got home, I received news about the puppy again. They bit Scribble’s fur on her ear. Good thing di nahagip yung balat, so therefore walang sugat. Pasalamat sila kundi patay silang dalawa sa’kin, gugulpihin ko sila! Hahaha! Mga wala pang turok e! Before telling me the news, they said that I must not be surprised and AJ took care of the paghampas. And even if I really wanted to kick the puppies so hard, I just remained calm but deep inside I am starting to hate them. Hahaha, ober! I was just amused to hear that AJ was enraged when he saw what they did to Scribs. But asking what Scribbles did? Nothing. She did nothing. She just allowed the puppies to drag her pulling her hair. Then I realized that Scribbles wanted to have playmates—dog playmates.

When I got to my room, I evaluated my day. I realized that Joel is like Paul. He had to face the doctor to know what God is telling him through the situation he is in. Even if it was stormy, we still sailed. And none of us was hurt, all of us were safe. Also, I realized that forgiveness is essential to faith. The more we are able to forgive, our faith increases. And so, I am glad that God controlled my temper regarding the puppy situation. Oh how I am being molded to have this faith like a mustard seed. Just like what Ma’am Ginger told me during the interview yesterday, “you will undergo a lot of refining…” and I know God is now refining me in my attitude and character. Oh LORD, prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true. All the glory and honor be unto God alone.